Single Parenting

This year, more than any year in the past, has found me playing the role of single parent. A little less than 2 years ago we moved to Washington State to pastor. My mother in law moved with us, however she didn't have the luck of selling her home as quickly and so my first shot at the single dad gig happened when Jen and Nana flew back to moved the house stuff out. Again this week, they are in Colorado moving another set of things this way, with the possibility of a third trip. That is the context. Now on to the meat.

Up early, up late, some days only 2 meals because that's i misjudged the time it took to prepare them and breakfast went on at 10:30 a.m. and dinner at 7 p.m. I tried to keep up with the homeschooling thing to find that I could accomplish exactly half of what my wife does, as I was still responsible to work, albeit, I have the option to work from home. We did have a great week, we watched a movie each evening as a partial family, we searched for mushrooms yesterday and even went swimming, but I have a greater respect for the single parent as well as for my wife.

First for the single parent, I now understand why TV is such a part of their life. I was plum tuckered out by evening time and TV provided an oasis. I could be with my kids but essentially unresponsible for them. They got to cuddle and I got to rest. Their job never stops, but continues on and while I had many people offer to help, I never quite knew what help to ask for. These two insights bring me to my observation concerning the church. Churches need to do a better job of helping the single parent, we need to see their needs and provide for them, not just offer but actually do something tangible for them - a night off, set up alternate parent mentors for their kids, get them some meals, etc... These would go a long way to caring for some of the tangible needs. Even simply providing childcare at every event would be a great gift to many single parents.

Now for my wife. Taking the venue to give her kudos, she is awesome. I couldn't live without her, and frankly I forget to tell her this often enough. As spouses, we need to speak our appreciation in concrete ways to them. We need to understand how much they do to keep life moving and be gracious for every bit of it. Tonight I will thank my wife with a gift of flowers. How will you thank your spouse? ...Read more