My prayer retreat

I have returned to my normal life - work, children, house needing repair, to it all.  But I return with a sense of peace in my soul.  Silence, solitude and prayer are the best way for me to reorient life to God and to understand what is really worth worrying about and what isn't.  Frequently, I go into a retreat stressed, with many questions and barely holding on.  This trip was no different.


I had questions about ministry, family and my own life.  Many of these questions had been plaguing me for some time - questions like:
1) What is the direction of our church?
2) How am I to thrive in the lack of sun the Pacific NW provides?
3) What is my task at Hope in Christ, and how much of my job responsibilities are feeding into that task?
4) Why do I struggle so much in obeying you Lord?

These questions and many others were on my mind when I disconnected with society on Monday, and although very few of them were answered they seem to not be so important after spending time focused on God and his word.  Of the 1/2 dozen or so questions I left with, only one was answered.  That is number 3 above. But I will get to that later.  Right now, I would like to describe what my retreat was like, what was the schedule and what did I do.  I do this in order to help those who may be unfamiliar with spiritual retreats.

I left on Monday noon for a retreat center outside Sumas, WA called Cedar Springs.  As I drove I turned off all music and began to look at the wooded hillsides and the farmland through which I drove.  After arriving, I took a 2 hour walk in the woods and took a few pictures, something I long to do but never find time for.  After that I sat down with my bible and read the book of Galatians and Revelation and just immersed myself into the biblical world.  I took a few hours and sat with a book on prayer, reading a section and praying the exercises it recommended.  This was a gift.  My food was simple and after taking a bath, I read some of Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov, and went to bed with one of Charles Spurgeon's sermons on grace going through my mind.

On Tuesday, I awoke at 8 a.m.  I read Galatians again, and prayed a few more exercises from the prayer book I took.  Then at 11 a.m. I left on a hike, no camera, just me and God and a slow pace, strolling along the woods, and up the hills, stopping for long rests on logs and benches and talking to God about life and my struggles, just getting a good time of counseling from the Lord.  I listened at each stop and prayed as led, but mostly, the silence and just knowing God was with me was enough.  I returned at 2 p.m. and read Galatians again, a little more Dostoevsky and a few more exercises in my prayer book.  Then I spent a little time looking over my schedule and laying out a more workable schedule for what I returned to my job.  Dinner came at 6 p.m. and I took another bath, and followed the same pattern as the night before, going to sleep at 10 p.m.

On Wednesday, I awoke at 8 a.m., spent the morning reflecting on the first few verses of Galatians and then praying some prayer exercises for my family and my church.  At 10 a.m. I checked out and drove home slowly to arrive back at 10:30 a.m. and start into life again.

So what did God teach me?  What answer did he give to my questions? Here you go - My task is to share what I know and nothing more.  I know the gospel and can articulate it, but I struggle trying to articulate discipleship and still keep it grounded in grace.  So God said, "Preach what you can articulate and don't go beyond that."  But then he also told me to share with people when I meet with them the passions I have.  I am to share my passion for studying the Word of God and conforming life to its mandates; I am to share my love of the spiritual disciplines as a means of being shaped by God; I am to share my love of silence and sabbath as a way of receiving the strength from God which every believer needs in order to thrive.  I don't need to know the future of the church, I just need to know and do my part.  I don't need to provide complete discipleship services, or phenomenal outreach ministries, or anything else - I need to share what God has taught me.  Similarly, others need to share what God has taught them.  In that way, the Church truly is like a body with many parts.  This was freeing and everything else just fell away as God taught me.

However, some other questions rose while I was gone.  Questions I hope to research and reflect on in the coming months.  Most notable among them is this question:
1) What is the difference between holiness and righteousness?