Christian Education and Parenting

"Just being around godly people is insufficient...some of the most tragic stories in the Bible concern parental failure."  (Wilson, Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning, pg. 72)

These words, present a challenging view to most modern parenting and most Christian approaches to education.  Somehow we took the epitaph, "Bad company corrupts good people" and inverted it to say, "Good company creates good people.  As parents we often think that our children will catch the faith by being around us, other church going believers, and by attending a Christian school.

Christian Parenting - Simplicity

Today will be my last post in this category, Christian Parenting, for a little while.  So I thought that Simplicity would be a great discipline to end with.  What is simplicity?  It is different for everybody but is grounded in contentment and joy.  Contentment with one's situation and Joy in one's circumstances, without both of these realities, one will never be able to embrace simplicity.  

The proverbs express wonderfully the concept of simplicity.  Let me quote, 

Prov. 30:7 “Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: 

Prov. 30:8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. 

Prov. 30:9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. 

Simplicity accepts what God has given  as being sufficient for our present situation.  It seeks to let go of things but not to be impoverished.  Simplicity and poverty are not the same thing, for 

Poverty is not chosen but is imposed, while simplicity is chosen;

Poverty is the result of greed, simplicity is the antidote to greed;

Poverty enslaves, simplicity liberates.

The simple person aims to be free  from attachment to things, in order to attach to God.  However it can be abused by failing to enjoy the good things God has given, or by forcing it on others.

How can we teach our children to live simply?  By living simply ourselves but more than that by discussing with them the result of letting things control our lives, desires control our wallets and stuff control our choices.  Practically we can help children to learn to give things away when new things enter their life, etc..

Christian Parenting - Love casts out all fear

During the past two weeks, my newly adopted daughters have adapted marvelously, but more than that, I can see that I am changing.  For those who know me, this may come as no surprise: I can be a very difficult personality to get along with and I can fail to show love all the time.  But the word says, 

Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. (Proverbs 10:12)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)

These passages always sound nice, but then real life makes them so difficult to live out.  Yet they are true.

Teaching Kids about money

Here's a post from the Wall Street Journal about teaching children about finances.

http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgetingk/article/109200/the-15-money-rules-kids-should-learn?mod=bb-budgeting

Christian Parenting - Meeting their Needs

Last night my wife told me about an interview she heard with a Christian psychologist.  In it the woman claimed that we need to meet the needs of our children in creative ways.  The example,

An adopted girls from Russia asks her mom for a Powerbar (c).  Dinner is on the stove, it is 10 minutes from being ready.

How would you respond?

Christian Parenting - Adoption changes the rules of the game

10 days ago my wife and I received two new adopted girls into our home.  That brings the total number of children in our home to 7.  2 adults, 7 children, we are a family of nine.  Naïvely I thought that raising these two children would be basically the same as raising my other 5, but 10 days in and I am realizing that this is an entirely different game.  We just moved from playing checkers to playing chess.

Christian Parenting - No entry this week

Sorry, but I am unable to post this week  and next due to severe schedule limitations.  I plan on resuming posts on March 25.

Christian Parenting - Instilling the Discipline of Silence

Every mother dreams of the few moments of silence that she gets when the children go down for a rest.  I must admit, that as a father, I relish those times as well.  Children are a blessing, each and every one of them, but they are noisy blessings. As a father of 7 children (we have recently adopted 2 girls from Ethiopia) I get my fair share of noise. We don't get alot of silence in our home. My kids all live together in shared rooms, a boys room and 2 girls rooms. I have boys who are very quiet, and girls who can make more noise than a freighter passing through the Straits of Juan de Fuca on a foggy night.  I also have the opposite, some of my kids love to be quiet and alone, others hate it and can't stand it.  

Recently, my middle daughter has had the opportunity to live alone until her new sisters arrive from Ethiopia.  It is the first time this 8 year old has ever had long amounts of silence to herself.  She is relishing it and the questions that she is asking as a result of being still, thinking on the Scripture and meditating are wonderful.  Questions about the veracity of scripture, how we can know that the message is true, why God loves us so much, etc.  

My question is this, should we as parents teach our extroverted children the discipline of silence?  

Christian Parenting - Chastity

Many of us have seen the medieval contraptions called chastity belts. And frankly from the looks of them, why would we want to teach our children anything about chastity?  It looks painful and out dated, even torturous.  But the Scriptures have much to say about chastity.  Take for instance, 1Thessalonians 4:3-4,

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable." 

Chastity is the act of learning to control our bodies and sexual urges so that they are used in appropriate ways.  First and foremost this involves teaching our children about the beauty of sex when exercised in a marriage between a husband and a wife.  The scriptures are clear that one man and one woman are to be united in a covenant relationship that is consummated in a sexual union of the two.

Christian Parenting - Whining, Crying and other unsavory habits

Have you ever been around children who constantly whine and their parents excuse it away?  I remember a child who always reverted to whining when her mother asked her to do or not to do something.  One day, she was in our house as we were watching her and she tried the same tactic she had so successfully used on her parents with me.  I looked her in the eyes and said, "We don't whine and cry in this house, if you don't stop then I will put you in bed."

Guess what? She didn't stop, immediately I walked over to her, picked her up and took her to the porta-crib.  As soon as her feet touched the crib, she stopped whining and crying.  I told her that if she did it again, I would take her back and leave her there for the rest of the afternoon.  We didn't have another problem.  That is until her parents arrived,

Who's welcome at your house?

The doorbell rings at six o'clock as dinner is being set on the table.  "I'm sorry," you say, "but we are just sitting down to eat.  We can't talk now."  Who's welcome at your house?  This common scenario in the American household has devastating effect on our children and on our Christian witness.  Who's welcome at your house?  Is anyone welcome, anytime?  Is there always enough?  Can we make room for one, or two or even ten more tonight?

Hospitality.  Hospitality is being lost in our churches and in our families.

What are your kids reading?

Do you know what your kids are reading?  As Christian parents we have a vested interest in knowing what our children are reading.  We all know the old adage, "Garbage in, garbage out."  Well it holds true to the books our children read just as much as to the food they eat and the things they see and hear.  This leads us to a discussion concerning devotional reading.

Devotional reading is that spiritual discipline where we train the mind and the heart by consistently immersing ourselves and our families in the the Scriptures and strong Christian literature.  By strong, I don't mean the easy going novels that have Christian themes, but the deep well stuff that explicitly shows us Christ and informs our worldview as believers.

Christian Parenting - Meditating on Scripture

The formation of our spiritual life and the life of our children and grandchildren is of great concern to many parents.  This is admirable.  But how can we help to shape ourselves and our children with habits, skills and ways of life that will benefit each person during their lifetime?  One of the disciplines that is beneficial is Meditation.

Meditation is part of a set of disciplines related to the Word of God.  For those unfamiliar with mediation as a discipline, let me compare it to eating a tasty meal.

The Discipline of the Lord

I am preparing for a sermon on the love of God and how love involves discipline.  I thought these Scriptures might serve some others as well, both parents with their children and christians in their walk with God.

Deut. 4:36 From heaven he made you hear his voice to discipline you. On earth he showed you his great fire, and you heard his words from out of the fire.

Deut. 11:2 Remember today that your children were not the ones who saw and experienced the discipline of the LORD your God: his majesty, his mighty hand, his outstretched arm;

Deut. 21:18 ¶ If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him,

Job 5:17 “Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.

Psa. 6:1 ¶ O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.

Psa. 38:1 ¶ O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.

Psa. 39:11 You rebuke and discipline men for their sin; you consume their wealth like a moth — each man is but a breath. Selah

Psa. 94:12 Blessed is the man you discipline, O LORD, the man you teach from your law;

Prov. 1:2 for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight;

Prov. 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Prov. 3:11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke,

Prov. 5:12 You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!

Prov. 5:23 He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.

Prov. 6:23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life,

Prov. 10:17 He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

Prov. 12:1 ¶ Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.

Prov. 13:18 He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored.

Prov. 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Prov. 15:5 A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.

Prov. 15:10 Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die.

Prov. 15:32 He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.

Prov. 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Prov. 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

Prov. 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.

Prov. 23:23 Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding.

Prov. 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.

Jer. 17:23 Yet they did not listen or pay attention; they were stiff-necked and would not listen or respond to discipline.

Jer. 30:11 I am with you and will save you,’ declares the LORD. ‘Though I completely destroy all the nations among which I scatter you, I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only with justice; I will not let you go entirely unpunished.’

Jer. 32:33 They turned their backs to me and not their faces; though I taught them again and again, they would not listen or respond to discipline.

Jer. 46:28 Do not fear, O Jacob my servant, for I am with you,” declares the LORD. “Though I completely destroy all the nations among which I scatter you, I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only with justice; I will not let you go entirely unpunished.”

Hos. 5:2 The rebels are deep in slaughter. I will discipline all of them.

Heb. 12:5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

Heb. 12:7 ¶ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?

Heb. 12:8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.

Heb. 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Rev. 3:19 ¶ Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

8 Ways to Help the Children Love Different People

This is from one of the blogs I read.  A really great post, and a reminder to all of us that teaching our children about God and his power and authority are truly life changing and people changing.

8 Ways to Help the Children Love Different People

Christian Parenting - Praying the Examen

Prayer is so multi-faceted.  It is like a diamond with many sides.  Maybe teaching your children to pray the psalms isn't what your family needs currently, but maybe praying the examen is.  What is the Examen?  The Examen is a form of prayer that Ignatius of Loyola popularized in his Spiritual Exercises.  But its roots are much deeper than Ignatius.  It comes from the Scriptural words,

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. --Psalms 139:23-24

When we pray the examen we are engaging in a prayer of reflection and listening as God sifts through our life.  God alone has the power to search our hearts and minds.  God alone knows the deep things inside a person.  He alone is aware of our true motivations and desires.  It is easy to think we can know these things, but the 'heart is deceitful above all things' (Jeremiah 17:9).

Christian Parenting - Praying the Psalms

Have you struggled with how to teach your children about prayer and how to pray?  I have.  All Christians want their children to have vibrant prayer lives.  We want them to talk with God, hear from God and express their emotions to God but we are uncomfortable when our children are angry and pray with angry words.  What is a parent to do?

Turn to the Psalms.  There are 150 prayers God's people in the Psalms and they cover every possible human emotion in a way that brings glory to God.  There are prayers seeking God's judgment, prayers of thanksgiving; and prayers looking forward to the coming of Jesus.  There are psalms that begin with pain and end with joy, and vice versa.  Prayers of desperation and of confidence, joy and sorrow can all be found.  Even prayers that ask "where are you God?"  The psalms can teach us to teach our children to pray by studying them with our kids and helping them to see the progressions which occur.

Christian Parenting - Teaching our Children to Fast

Fasting.  What is it and why would I want to teach my children to fast?  Fasting has a long history in the Bible.  Let me rehearse a little bit of it:  Moses before receiving the 10 commandments (Exodus 24:18), David praying for his child (2Samuel 12:16), Elijah for 40 days (1Kings 19:8), and Christ in the Desert (Matthew 4:2).  Furthermore, all Israel was called to fast on the day of Atonement in Leviticus 23:26-32.  Literally they are "to deny" themselves, everything in life is to be removed in order to focus upon God and the offering for sin that is being made.

Christian Parenting - Instilling a heart to serve

Jesus said, "whoever wants to be first must be your slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:27-28).  Serving is what our Lord does.  He serves those who are unable to serve themselves.  Truthfully, no person is self sufficient.  The old axiom, "No man is an island unto himself," is true.  We are not self-contained people.  In fact, we need others. God himself said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).  

Christian Parenting - Teaching Stewardship to your children

What is stewardship?  Stewardship is the act of managing every resource within one's control for the glory of God.  The steward asks the question, "Will my actions enhance the Kingdom of God by displaying the heart of God to the world?"  The steward is concerned about representing his or her master well to the world.  The steward wants to see God's glory proclaimed, God's name uplifted, God's kingdom expanded and God's world cared for.

Stewardship is the combination of prayer, compassion, service, creation care, justice, generosity and simplicity, all rolled into one overarching view of life.  Because of this, the steward knows the heart of the master and acts on this knowledge.  Furthermore, he or she uses everything at his or her disposal in order to cooperate with God in the advancement of His Kingdom on this earth.

So how can this be taught to our children?