Christian Parenting - Instilling the Discipline of Silence

Every mother dreams of the few moments of silence that she gets when the children go down for a rest.  I must admit, that as a father, I relish those times as well.  Children are a blessing, each and every one of them, but they are noisy blessings. As a father of 7 children (we have recently adopted 2 girls from Ethiopia) I get my fair share of noise. We don't get alot of silence in our home. My kids all live together in shared rooms, a boys room and 2 girls rooms. I have boys who are very quiet, and girls who can make more noise than a freighter passing through the Straits of Juan de Fuca on a foggy night.  I also have the opposite, some of my kids love to be quiet and alone, others hate it and can't stand it.  

Recently, my middle daughter has had the opportunity to live alone until her new sisters arrive from Ethiopia.  It is the first time this 8 year old has ever had long amounts of silence to herself.  She is relishing it and the questions that she is asking as a result of being still, thinking on the Scripture and meditating are wonderful.  Questions about the veracity of scripture, how we can know that the message is true, why God loves us so much, etc.  

My question is this, should we as parents teach our extroverted children the discipline of silence?  

Absolutely, and here are my reasons.  The prophet Habakkuk writes,

“the LORD is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him” (Hab 2:20). 

Zephaniah tells us, 

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” (Zeph 3:17).  

Even the Psalmist encourages us to 

"be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him" (Psalm 37:7).

Consider Jesus' example.  He chose solitude and silence at significant points in His life:

• Following the death of John the Baptist (Matt 14:13)
• After feeding the 5000 (Matt 14:23)
• After healing many in Galilee (Mark 1:35)
• Luke says Jesus often withdrew to lonely, solitary places (Luke 5:16)

In silence, the soul encounters God.  In patient waiting, when the mouth is quiet and the mind and heart are stilled, God reveals great truths to men, women and children.  If we recall the story of Job, it wasn't until Job was silent that God began speaking, and it was only then that Job recognized his need to repent and be humble.  Silence and the practice of it is needed for our children to develop attuned hearts and minds to the voice and spirit of God.  In a world moving ever faster and bombarding our senses with media images, slogans and quips, we need to teach our kids about the value of being silent before the Lord.


So how can we practically enter into this discipline and how can we help our children and grandchildren to enjoy this gift.  Like all disciplines, we must model that which we hope to see in others.  Maybe you could consider a few hours of silent each week, either as a block of time or in smaller segments spread throughout the week.  Whether it is 15 minutes a day or a 2-hour block on Saturday or Sunday afternoon.  The time spent quietly before God will be wonderfully refreshing.  Don't read, write or think, just be silent and still before God and enjoy him for who he is.  I highly encourage every parent to give their children at least 15 minutes each day without books, toys, music, etc. and to encourage them to do the same.  Over time, the gift will bear its fruit.