How quickly our focus can shift (personal reflections on 1 Samuel 12)

For the past few months I have been involved in a mock futures trading simulation.  It started out as a way to get the mind on something other than theology.  It was wonderful. I was reading books on economics and markets, learning new things, etc.  About 3 weeks ago, I moved from the 20 minute delayed simulator I was using to a real time simulator through a futures broker. My intent was to take what I had learned and see if in real time I could make money.  The first week was wonderful, with my $50,000 in virtual money supplied by the firm, I gained $5000.  10% for 1 week's worth of working 30 minutes a day.  Not bad wages.


Then week two happened.  A number of things changed.  First, I noticed that my mind began to loose focus on my pastoral work.  I began to be consumed with the idea of making money, and lots of it.  I envisioned being rich and living extravagantly and being amazingly generous.  As I reflect, I am amazed that my focus got off so quickly. Then week 2 started and I lost $9000 that week.  With each loss, I became more engrossed in the game and couldn't shut it off, I wanted to earn back what I lost.  (Remember, this is all virtual cash, it is just a game, but it was a lesson in how quickly things can come to control our thoughts and take us over.)

Week 3 started on Monday and today it is Thursday.  I refused to open the simulator on Tuesday.  Yesterday, I opened it up and entered 2 trades in the morning then closed it and walked away. I opened it again this morning to enter 4 trades and close it down.  My concentration was wonderful yesterday, the stress levels dropped and I began to see clearly what was happening to me - a shift in focus had occurred.  This was confirmed in me as I read 1 Samuel 12 this morning.  The parallel was unmistakeable.

The Israelites shifted their focus from God to wanting a king.  I shifted from God to wanting to be king, with all the monetary perks.  Their sin, and mine, was in not looking to God, but getting caught up in something other than God and they, like me, were unaware of the shift in focus until it was brought to their attention.  God used Samuel to inform the Israelites, and the Holy Spirit (and my wife) to inform myself.  I have spent the morning confessing my sin to God and hearing his affirmation of forgiveness and his promise to pray for me.  Oh I thank the Lord for the beauty of grace.

That is my story of how quickly our focus can shift from God to something else.  Maybe you are experiencing the same thing, but with a different issue.  If so, consider reading 1 Samuel 12 and following the lead of the Israelites: confess your sins and return to the Lord.  He forgives and welcomes you back into a proper relationship.  He is a generous God, slow to anger and abounding in love.